Panamera turns into 750bhp ‘Moby Dick’

Possessed of a large, unnecessary circle of friends dependent on your wit, wisdom and generous nature? Looking for a quick way to extricate them from your lives?

Edo Competition has conjured up a vision of the Porsche Panamera so utterly devoid of dignity, those closest to you will have no choice other than drop you like a thoroughly heated vegetable.

It's called the Moby Dick, presumably in honour of the 1978 Porsche 935 Le Mans car ('whale tail'). Edo has upgraded the twin-turbo V8's oomph from 550bhp to 750bhp, good to hit 62mph in under four seconds, while top speed sits at 211mph.

You get a Mansory bodykit, 22-inch wheels and any combination of interior tailoring you deem necessary.

We thought there was no car so awful that it couldn’t be rescued by a Martini stripe paintjob. We were wrong.

This is the Geiger Hummer H3, and it’s bad. Geiger – the German firm that seems to specialise in tuning things that really don’t need tuning – has fitted a supercharger to the H3’s 5.3-litre V8, boosting power from a pitiful 300bhp to a slightly less pitiful 423bhp.

That’s good for a 0-60mph time of around seven seconds and a frankly frightening top speed of 148mph, which at least raises the possibility that you’ll be able to drive off quick enough that no one will know it was you behind the wheel.

Because, let’s be honest, with a bodykit like that and such scant disregard for classic racing liveries, you’ll want to remain as anonymous as possible.

Audi A4 S4 £36,000

"Now," says the serene Audi chassis engineer sitting alongside me in the S4, pressing a button on the dash, "you shall understeer."

Through the rain, we pile into a tight left-hander on the drenched Mallorcan race circuit. Sure enough, the S4's nose pushes wide, resisting any effort to be wrestled into oversteer. Sensible. Locked down. Audi-ish.

"See?" continues the engineer in impassive Teutonic monotone. He presses the button a couple more times. "Now you shall oversteer."

We hit a similarly tight-radius right-hander, and the S4 launches sideways into a lurid, tail-happy drift. A fraction before we reach that critical backwards-into-barrier moment, the rear end catches, and the S4 barrels out on to the straight. Most un-Audi.

It's quite a party trick, and one that rapidly dispels TG's biggest criticism of the old S4: that it simply wasn't engaging enough to justify the premium over a top-spec diesel A4.

But this is the all-new S4, and that magical button is controlling Audi's new 'drive select' system which adjusts the steering, dampers and, most importantly, the quattro's new 'sport differential'. Similar to the torque vectoring on the BMW X6, it varies the amount of torque distributed to each driven wheel. Audi calls it 'inverse ESP' - instead of braking a spinning wheel, the diff pumps more power to the wheel that can use it best.

In 'Comfort' mode, it's set to safety-first understeer, but in 'Dynamic' mode - and in the right road conditions - it'll let you get quite spectacularly crossed up before deciding to put a halt to all the fun.

It's a similarly bipolar story with the engine: Audi has ditched its tried-and-tested V8 in favour of an all-new supercharged 3.0-litre V6. Power is fractionally down on the old S4 - 328bhp plays 339bhp - but torque is up by 22lb ft to a mighty respectable 324lb ft. That's good news for acceleration - the S4's 0-62mph time is down to 5.1 seconds, a full half-second quicker than the previous generation - and even better news for economy, up to 29.1mpg from 21.2mpg. That's nigh-on BMW M3 pace with 40 per cent more economy, and vital ammunition against those who feel it might not be in the best taste to launch a big new petrol supersaloon into the current climate.

Sadly, the new V6 just isn't as visceral as an M3's V8 - or, for that matter, the V8 it replaces. Despite a pleasingly off-beat thrum at idle, the engine is subtle and muted at any revs, the supercharger whine registering as little more than a whispering hiss.

That's in keeping with the performance, though. There's a silky smooth delivery of power throughout the rev range - no hammer-blow of torque, but instead a flat, urgent, linear wave of acceleration. It's the sort of engine that lulls you unwarily into triple figures rather than scares the bejesus out of you.

More engaging, though, is the S4's optional S-Tronic transmission - quite possibly the best application of VAG's double-clutch gearbox yet. Mounted longitudinally for the first time, it copes admirably with all the power, convincingly thumping the upshifts and giving a satisfying blip on the way down.

Even so, despite being significantly quicker than the 335i, the S4 isn't quite as instinctive, as stirring as its rear-drive BMW rival. But as a stealth cruiser, an understated Q-car with the ability to go just a bit ballistic when you need it, the S4 is right on the mark.

All of which raises an interesting little question: just how quick will the rumoured RS5 be, if and when it arrives? Quick enough to show a clean pair of heels to a BMW M3, say Audi insiders. Let's see the chassis engineers stay serene about that one.

Volkswagen Golf GTI Mk VI £22,000

With the incoming Focus RS monopolising REM sleep for most of our hot hatch devotees, the Mk VI VW Golf GTI might have slipped unnoticed onto our streets this summer. But it won't for two reasons. The first is that it is very good. The other, that it's been styled in the way that an RS aficionado would approve of. That he might have done himself, in fact, through mail order catalogues and Superglue.

Volkswagen has taken the truly excellent Mk V GTI and tweaked it in various vital respects. The engine is slightly lighter, but provides more power with better economy. It now has a limited slip diff to better harness that extra power, and an adaptive chassis that does comfy, not so comfy, and sporty at the touch of a button. The exhaust note is also astonishing and surely unprecedented in a 2.0-litre German hatchback.

So far so good. Positive progress. But the new GTI has also been restyled in a fashion that seems intended to deprive the aftermarket modders of much in the way of Sunday afternoon fun. New grille, headlights and fog lights at the front, new side skirts and wider, symmetrical exhausts at the rear. The wheels have also had their inserts painted black. None of this looks bad per se, but it's all a teeny bit like a first date in Nandos. Mind you, the Focus RS driver is in the Chicken Cottage.

BMW 3 Series Coupe Alpina D3 Bi-Turbo Coupe £32,950

BMW doesn't make a 323d. Too many diesels in the line-up already, the story goes - too expensive and risky to try and squeeze another engine into the near-invisible gap between the 320d and the 325d. So, if you want BMW's lovely bi-turbo four-pot in your life, you'll have to make do with the 123d.

Unless, that is, you go to Alpina, who will whip you up a 3-Series with the 2.0-litre diesel out of the 123d, with a revised engine management and a new exhaust system. This is good.

We like the stats too. 214bhp. 0-62mph in 6.9 seconds. 152mph top speed. Yes, that's Golf GTI-beating performance from a car that'll return 52mpg. That's nearly 150bhp per tonne. From a diesel. Simply astonishing.

The D3 doesn't feel like a quick diesel though. In fact, it doesn't feel like a diesel at all. Despite a massive 331lb ft of torque, there's never a genuine gut-punch from the turbos. Instead, the rev needle skips to the red line with petrol-like vim, a fizzy responsiveness that should convert even the staunchest diesel-haters. Leaving aside such freakshows as Audi's giant V12, this might just be the greatest diesel in the world.

The D3 rides better than any current BMW too. Alpina has ditched the 3's hard-riding run-flat tyres - though hasn't added a spare wheel, leaving you instead with a handy can of foam - and fiddled slightly with the suspension set-up, and the result is a beautifully judged ride over any surface.

In fact, it's good enough to make you wonder why Alpina didn't go a bit further with the D3. The new spoilers, steering wheel and seats, the engine and handling, put the car right at the sporty end of diesel, and make the unchanged gearbox and steering feel a little lax by comparison. Yes, revising them would have pushed the price up, but the D3 is being imported in such small numbers - the UK'll get under 100 each year - that interested punters would surely have paid the premium.

Which raises the bigger question: should BMW make its own 323d? It'd clearly create a bit of a headache for the marketing team, but we'd then invoke TG's Altruistic Principle: is it morally acceptable to have an engine this good in just one car?

Audi R8 V10 Spyder £112,500

I approached the R8 Spyder as I'd approach my dream car. It's gorgeous, dramatic, and bonkers-fast. The roof folds for summer. The roof comes up again for winter, and Quattro drive hooks all that power onto a slippery road. Being an R8, it's both epic and ordinary in perfect combination. It's quiet when you need it to be, noisy when you want it to be. It handles commuting and motorways as well as mountain passes.

But it turns out it's useless. Not bad. Just useless.Which is strange because the original R8 coupe is one of the most useful supercars in history. You can have that coupe for thrills, and for every day. But there's one crucial detail that hobbles the Spyder as an everyday car. Where an R8 coupe has a handy space behind the seats, in the Spyder that space is used to store the folded roof. All that remains is the front boot, which, as with all R8s, is the size of a lunchbox.

So while the Spyder is on paper a relatively trifling eight per cent, or £8,690, more expensive than the coupe, in practice you'd also need to add the cost of forwarding your luggage. Say £28,250 for an S3, plus the wages of its driver.

Since as an R8 Spyder buyer you'll need to be so financially well-upholstered, you'll think nothing of forking out for two more cylinders. So Audi doesn't give you the choice and the Spyder is, for the time being at least, available only with the V10 and not the V8. And standard all-LED headlamps, magnetic ride, Bang and Olufsen hi-fi, and (nifty detail this) Bluetooth phone microphones embedded in the seatbelt fabric so that - even at big speed roof-down - you can phone your man in the S3 and tell him where to meet you with the fresh undies.

And what a time you'll be having en route to the rendezvous. We've already written thousands of words on the subject of our near-boundless love for the R8 V10. And now here's a convertible, with all the advantages that confers. A convertible is when you can't go very fast and want to enjoy the agreeable scenery and weather. A convertible is also more dramatic-looking. The absence of a roof makes a low and wide car even lower and, in consequence, wider-looking. And you hear that engine all the better.

Somewhere between a pair of TT RS straight-fives and a Formula One V10, it's a noise you just can't get enough of. There's heaps of torque too, delivered so nonchalantly that at first it's easy to miss how fast this car is. I kept shifting up at 6,000rpm. I had to remind myself to take it to 8,700. And in the region between those numbers, this thing is hectically, brutally fast. Oh yes, it's 100kg more than the coupe, so 0-62 takes just over four seconds rather than just under, but roof-down the Spyder's extra rush and noise makes it feel the more madly rapid.

The R-tronic single-clutch flappy-paddle gearbox is another £5,200. However much money you've got, I urge you not to tick that box. The manual is simply delicious, and doesn't make silly decisions. The R-tronic does - for instance, it changes down automatically as you approach a stop. Now imagine you decide it's time to go from third to second. If the moment you pull the paddle coincides with moment it decides to shift down anyway, your shift plus its shift combine to land you in first, and suddenly the car stands on its nose. Thunk.

All the R10's grip and traction are there. You can go at face-bending rates, and the R8 helps you out. But something here has been lost. The steeringremains progressive and confident, but a vital portion of the coupe's feedback and involvement has gone AWOL. It's sorely missed. The engineers say it's the extra weight that's to blame.

There was always a Spyder in the R8 plan. So I'm surprised by this marginal loss of finesse. I'm also surprised that the heater isn't more effective, and that the cockpit is actually pretty blustery at motorway speed - an MX-5 is far better in both respects.

So I came away from this drive feeling that the Spyder was a mild disappointment. Sorry. But then I'd set it such a high bar. I wanted it to be more special than the basic R8 V8 manual, and while it is in some ways, in others it's lost something. But you need to know two things to put that verdict in proper context. First I drove it on a day of relentlessly grey sky and cold wind. And secondly, I think that a basic R8 is already miraculously special.

Ford Focus RS 500 driven £35,650

Phew, no rain. Showers are always a risk in Germany's Eifel mountains, which is where we're driving today, but fortunately it's a scorcher. Dry weather is crucial to this Ford Focus RS500 - 350bhp and 340lb ft fed through the front wheels is going to make traction a rare commodity, even on smooth tarmac.The RS500 is the run-out special to the RS Focus. Five-hundred cars will be built, and 101 are destined for the UK. First though, the bad news: all of them have sold out. And that's despite the RS500 costing a whopping £35,650.

To give you an idea of just how popular this car is, Ford's dedicated RS500 website was hacked four days before it was due to go live. In those four days, before the car even officially existed, enough people had beaten down the door of their local dealer demanding a RS500 that Ford could have sold the 101 cars several times over.

Oh, and a word of warning. Not that the Focus RS was ever a car for a bloke who didn't want to be noticed, but prepare to be hassled a lot in the RS500. We took the car to the Nurburgring 24 Hours Race, and I lost count of the number of camera phones pointed at it. It was enough to make me feel a tinge of sympathy for a b-list celeb.

To get the power to 350bhp, Ford has tweaked the ECU, changed the exhaust to give a better flow of air and increased the power of the fuel pump. Other than that, this RS500 is exactly the same as the standard RS, apart from the Batman-spec matt-black wrap on the bodywork.

It's some tribute to the basic Focus that this RS500 still works brilliantly well. Sure, you'll have to drive it carefully over a bumpy back road, or when it rains. But on a good day, with the sun shining and the birds singing, the RS500 is magic.

Honestly, 350bhp in a front-wheel drive car feels manageable. Before I came on the launch, I thought driving this car would be a lesson in self-restraint, but not a bit of it. You can be as much of a hooligan in this thing as you'd hope. It doesn't feel under-braked or like the 350bhp has altered the brilliant balance of the chassis.

Turn in, get on the power, feel the front wheels tug at the steering slightly, your neck strain against the g, and then launch up the road to worry about the next corner. Because the steering is so good, there's enough intuitive feel that you don't have to concentrate too hard. It just links back to you almost by telekinesis.

But here's the real shocker. Because there's now so much more torque in the RS500, pottering around at a leisurely pace is now even easier. So there you go. The most ridiculous hot hatch ever, with more power than the basic Porsche 911, can actually be relaxing to drive.

Alfa Romeo Giulietta 1.4 TB 170 HP £20,795

The Alfa Romeo Giulietta is a far better car than the 147. That may be no great revelation - the 147 has been knocking around for a full decade now, and has long been usurped by younger, lither rivals - so here's a bigger one: the Giulietta might just be the best car that Alfa has built in its 100 years of existence.

But it isn't a better Alfa.

Sounds nonsensical? Stick with us. While the Giulietta does all the proper, grown-up car stuff - build quality, refinement, economical engines - better than just about any of its predecessors, it comes at the expense of Alfa's essential... Alfaness. Character. Passion. God-give-me-one-now-and-to-hell-with-the-residuals desirability. The Giulietta is an easy car to admire and like,
but not one that grabs you lustily by the man-parts.

It must be conceded that we don't have the ideal conditions in which to fall helplessly in love with the Giulietta on our early test drive. As we arrive at Alfa's Balocco test facility, just off the Milan-Turin road in northern Italy (Mi-To, reads the sign pointing to the motorway), rain is falling with a weight and ferocity that suggests someone's done something massive to upset Him/Her/Them Upstairs. A Golf remains a Golf no matter what the weather, but an Alfa somehow requires big blue skies and shimmering warmth. Shallow, perhaps, but hey, it's an Alfa. Shallowness is somewhere near the top of the CV.

Through the rain, our white test car looks every inch the big brother to the Mito. Normally we'd steer clear of discussing aesthetics at any great length, because (a) you have eyes and (b) someone keeps casting Kirsten Dunst in films, so clearly taste must be subjective. But Alfa has always relied on visual oomph to sell cars, so forgive us a few demi-objective points. First, the Giulietta is massively colour-dependent.

Those sharp creases down the bonnet simply become lost in darker shades, making the front end look too tall and shapeless. Secondly, though you'll have spotted the resemblance to the new Megane and Astra about the rear-end profile, the Giulietta's is a far more subtle backside, the cutaway swage lines taking a lot of the bulk out of what could look like a fat arse. The jewellery is gorgeous, the LED rear lights tracing a lazy, unwinding delta towards the central badge, the handle-free rear door as elegant as ever.

But, for our ha'pence worth, that big upright grille lacks the intrinsic elegance of the Brera and 159's slinky front end. OK, the Giulietta looks a lot more distinctive than the Audi A3, its most obvious rival, but is it properly beautiful? For us, not quite. Not yet.

Same story in the cabin. Nice, but not irresistible. There are flashes of loveliness in here. The row of ‘horseshoe' switches below the central control panel are soft-touch and beautifully damped, the vents on the centre console slimline and classy, and the leather looks like it would taste of finest Argentinian fillet if you licked it. Just a few more flashes of originality would have raised the Giuletta's interior to proper ‘need one now' levels, but too much of it is over-familiar: the steering wheel switches are straight off a Fiat Punto, the plasticky glove-box door seems to have been nicked from a Doblo van. Of course, all premium manufacturers indulge in a degree of parts snatching from their cheaper cousins, but it all depends on where you hide 'em: the Giulietta's borrowed bits remain too exposed.

Right. Enough navel-gazing. With the rain now reaching such ferocity that it can't be long until the ground bursts open like a split balloon, or simply floats off into the Mediterranean, a sodden little lump of Italy bobbing towards North Africa, we sweep out of Balocco and in search of sunshine, lakes and a decent road.

We find the latter... and the Giulietta's fizz. It might not be genuflectingly beautiful, but it doesn't half drive well. The Giulietta sits on an all-new modular platform that will underpin a whole bunch of future Alfas and Fiats, and gets aluminium multi-link rear suspension. Alfa admits the 147 sacrificed too much comfort in the pursuit of sportiness, and says this set-up strikes a better balance.

And, by jove, they've cracked it. With the ‘DNA' switch - the button that allows you to adjust dampers, differential settings and throttle response on the fly - set to sharpest ‘dynamic' mode (an action which also causes a nice little G-meter to pop up on the satnav screen, making us very happy indeed), it's sublime, deliciously supple and controlled. As far as it's possible to tell on drenched roads, it clings on nicely, but can be easily coaxed into cheeky, controlled wet-roundabout slides.

There's an almost organic quality to the Giulietta's steering that makes your A3 feel lifeless, your 1-Series feel over-brittle. On a good road, it's everything an Alfa should be. Fun.

Unfortunately, such dynamic loveliness does draw attention to the Giulietta's surprisingly soulless engine. We're driving the 167bhp version of Alfa's 1.4-litre four-pot petrol engine, which features Fiat's clever new ‘MultiAir' variable-valve tech. Until the 235bhp Cloverleaf edition turns up later in the summer, this is the most powerful Giulietta available. There's a detuned version of the same engine available, too, packing 118bhp - essentially the same engine we've driven, and admired, in the new Fiat Punto - and a pair of diesels.

Objectively, grown-uppedly, the top-spec petrol is excellent. It'll do 0-62mph in under eight seconds, which is frankly quicker than a good-sized hatch with a 1.4-litre engine has any right to be. Equipped with stop-start, it'll manage 49mpg and just 134g/km of CO2: impressive figures. Yes, things are a bit dead below 2,000rpm, but it hardly feels like a tiny petrol engine with a fat turbo attached: power delivery is smooth and progressive, the boost barely noticeable.

So what's the problem? In noise and character, it's soulless: a modern Euro-spec turbo four-pot, all gentle turbo whirr overlaid with a dull drone at high revs. It doesn't fizz round the rev gauge with intent. In the A3 or Golf, we would regard this as a fine engine. But in an Alfa - a brand that should sweat, bleed and occasionally urinate petrol - it doesn't quite fit. It wouldn't take much to inject a bit of soul, a hint of exhaust crackle would do it, but for now you'd be better off with the bigger diesel.

And that's the problem. By mature road-testy criteria, the Giulietta is a fine car. Rear passenger space - always a gripe in the 147 - is now on a par with the five-door Golf, and the boot is of a decent size with a nice flat loadspace. At speed, it's very nearly as quiet and refined as the A3. Great, brilliant, but it leaves us just a bit cold. Would you sell your family pets to the local kebab vendor to pay for one? Meh.

You could argue, quite fairly, that we're trying to both have and eat our Battenburg here. We spend years moaning about the unreliability and flimsiness of Alfas, and then as soon as they build a solid, refined car, we moan that it's characterless. The Giulietta is now a genuine Golf and A3 rival, and, though prices are yet to be confirmed - Alfa has announced only that the Giulietta will start at around £17,000 - it should be competitive. But if you want something that's like a Golf, we'd guess you'll still buy a Golf. Alfas have always catered to the more petrolheaded market, but this one doesn't. Not quite.

Alternatively you could argue, again quite fairly, that our eyes have got it all wrong: that the Giulietta is the most desirable car you've ever seen. Maurice certainly would. Maurice is possibly the most excited elderly man in Europe. At the end of our test drive, we park up the Giulietta in a sodden town square on the banks of Lake Maggiore, its waters frothing and foaming as if Godzilla is soon to rise in apocalyptic rage. Maurice comes literally skipping from his little grocery store, clapping and clasping a Giulietta brochure as he splashes through the rain.

"Bella, bella, bellissimo," he chants hypnotically, stroking the car and beaming like he's just downed a morphine smoothie. In a conversation that could generously be described as bilingual, and more accurately as ‘pointing and repeatedly shouting', we establish that he has achievement the purchasement of a Giulietta that commences its arrival upon the second Saturday of the May-month. Bought a Giulietta - 1.4-litre, 118bhp petrol in white - without having driven it or even seen it in the metal, just a couple of photos on the internet. Yowch. That's commitment.

For us, right now, the Alfa Romeo Giulietta just hasn't reached that level of desirability. The Cloverleaf - which will arrive in the summer, packing meatier visuals and, with any luck, a more engaging powertrain - should help matters. Until then, we're impressed, but not in love.

Audi reveals hottest S-line A1

Audi has announced its A1 supermini will now be available with a 182bhp 1.4-litre TFSI engine, making it the fastest and most powerful A1 on sale today.

Bad news! It's still around two grand more expensive than the equivalent Mini Cooper S.The new S-line A1 gets the supercharged and turbocharged engine from the Polo GTI generating 182bhp and 184lb ft of torque. Audi claims it will do the 0-62mph sprint in 6.9 seconds, just 0.1 seconds quicker than the 185bhp Mini Cooper S.

It's quite an engine too. The supercharger kicks in at 1,500rpm and retires at 2,400rpm, after which a turbocharger takes over duties from 3,500rpm. Audi says because the supercharger handles the low-range, it has been able to slot in a bigger turbo, for efficiency and economy, you understand, not powerrr.

The A1 gets the S tronic seven-speed twin clutch auto box as standard, together with ESP and an electronic limited slip diff; this brakes the inside front wheel briefly when sensors detect a loss of traction, or, in layman's terms, immediately after saying ‘watch this', and immediately preceding a potentially expensive ding.

It comes with sports suspension, naturally, exterior S-line bits, 17-inch alloys and part-leather seats.

Yours for just £20,075. Which would you rather have, this or a Cooper S?

Moredigg

New BMW 6-Series

Launched in convertible format initially, the new 6-Series is certainly less controversial in the styling stakes: less of a bustled rump and a smoother, sharper profile. Certainly in the pictures I saw before coming out, and on the stand at the Paris show, I was keen.

But I've mellowed towards it after driving it today. In real life, it's more of the same: there's nothing here that actively offends, but you can't help thinking that the car is lacking a certain something. On the road it looks nice enough, but nothing very striking. There's just not that much to get excited about.Still, a 407bhp, 442lb ft 650i V8 should sort that, right? Well, again, not quite. The 650 weighs over two tonnes, so despite having plenty of get-up-n-go from the motor, the Six never really feels quite as fast as the figures suggest - five seconds to 60mph is respectable, but the car feels like a cruiser from the off.

It's also a tad firm on anything other than smooth roads - very German - and the active steering is about as tactile as remote surgery. I've got an eight-hour odyssey of driving tomorrow, so there's more to come, but first impressions are that there are no surprises here.

More0digg

Aston Martin’s iQ to cost £31k

you read it right: £31k for a pumped-up Toyota iQ.You will probably be familiar with the Aston Martin Cygnet. It is based on the iQ and, says AM, is a ‘bespoke luxury commuter car'.To mark the official launch of the Aston iQ - sorry, ‘Cygnet' - Aston has announced two limited editions: White and Black.The Cygnet White gets, obviously, a white paintjob with silver mesh, chrome brightwork, white diamond-turned alloys, together with hand-trimmed pearl white leather seats, satin chrome and the iconic Aston ‘wings' in matching white.

The Cygnet Black gets ‘Magic Black' paintwork with deep sea green effect, matt black louvers, chrome brightwork, full grain black leather interior with a diamond pattern, dark chrome accents and black wing badges.

For your rather significant outlay, you also get a bespoke Bill Amberg five-piece luggage set especially fitted for the Cygnet.

So they've handily trimmed the interior to make it not-a-Toyota, but those hoping for something more V8-shaped under the bonnet will be disappointed. The Cygnet gets the 97bhp 1.33 VVTI petrol engine, capable of 0-62mph in 11.6 seconds (with MultriDrive) and a heady top speed of 106mph.

Still, the Cygnet does have two very important existential reasons. One, it emits just 116g/km of CO2 with the six-speed manual box, meaning if they shift enough of them - now available to the great unwashed and not just to Aston owners - the company's fleet emissions will be significantly reduced.

Volkswagen debuts 313mpg XL1 concept

Volkswagen has just unveiled its XL1 to the world, and no, it's not a Burger King special.

This, people of Earth, is the Super Efficient Vehicle; the third iteration of Volkswagen's continuing mission to mock today's emissions regulations by creating a concept which returns 313mpg.

The XL1 also emits 24g/km of CO2, setting unbelievable benchmarks for saving our green 'n' blue hemisphere. VW says its combined range is around 340 miles on a 10-litre tank.t's powered by a two-cylinder 800cc TDI diesel producing 47bhp, and is linked to a 26bhp electric motor, equalling a total of 73bhp. The power is sent to the rear wheels via a seven-speed DSG gearbox with an automatic clutch fitted between each unit. This means the electric motor can work independently of the diesel or with it when accelerating.

As expected, the XL1 is constructed using space-age materials not yet discovered on this Earth, but probably capable of withstanding nuclear fallout. Or a trip to Burger King. VW says it developed and patented a new system manufacturing carbon fibre reinforced polymer, and as such, the XL1 weighs just 795kg.

The wheels are made of magnesium, the brake discs are ceramic and the boingy stuff is made of aluminium. That slim-fast figure equals a 0-62mph time of 11.9 seconds - not bad for 73bhp - while top speed is limited to 99mph.

It's about as high as a Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder and as long and wide as a VW Polo. And if it results in a motoring universe where Mother Nature doesn't unleash the four horsemen of the apocalypse to destroy humanity

Toyota recalls 18,000 cars in the UK

Toyota has issued a recall for more than 18,000 cars sold in the UK following concerns over fuel systems.

The Japanese car maker has recalled around 15,500 UK-registered Avensis 2.0-litre and 2.4-litre petrol engine models built between July 2000 and September 2008, over fears that small cracks can develop in the fuel pipe after a long period of time.There are also fears that the fuel pump check valve has been insufficiently tightened, and both these issues, ‘may cause fuel to leak', says Toyota.

The issue affecting the Lexus IS250 - on cars built between August 2007 and February 2009 - is related to the fuel pressure sensor, which Toyota says could be insufficiently tightened and become loose. In very rare cases fuel could leak.

Around 3,100 Lexus IS250 models are affected by the recall.

Jon Williams, managing director of Toyota GB, said: "We will liaise with our customers to carry out the repair procedures as efficiently as possible, with minimal disruption."

Toyota estimates the repair for the Avensis will take between two and four-and-a-half hours to complete, and the IS up to three hours. No accidents have been reported in the UK related to these conditions.

Last year the company recalled nine million vehicles globally following two separate issues resulting in jammed throttles.

Detroit 2011: Porsche unveils 918 RSR

Porsche has stolen the floor at the Detroit motor show with the quite sensational 918 RSR.

The RSR is a blend of the 918 Spyder road car and the hybrid tech of the 911 GT3 R hybrid we drove last year.It looks brilliant - the closed cockpit making it look shorter and more purposeful than the 918 Spyder - and it's got cool orange stripes, and bears the number 22, which was the winning number of the Porsche 917 K that won Le Mans 40 years ago with an average speed of 138mph, not beaten until Audi did it last year. Also, the fan sits over the engine, exactly like the one on the 917's flat-12.

The 918 RSR uses a V8 from the RS Spyder racer, tuned for 563bhp at 10,300rpm (!). There are two electric motors for the front wheels - they're independently powered to give torque vectoring to improve cornering - and max power is 767bhp when the driver pushes a button to activate the electric motors. It's a six-speed paddleshift transmission for the V8.

The electric energy comes from a flywheel in the ‘passenger's seat' linked to a motor/generator to turn electric energy into flywheel energy and vice-versa. The flywheel spins to 36,000rpm.

By contrast the road 918 has a battery hybrid system instead of the flywheel. Batteries allow fairly large quantities of energy to be stored; it can do 15 miles of gentle driving on its batteries before the engine starts. The batteries can also be charged from the mains.

But, explains TopGear magazine Man of the Year Wolfgang Duerheimer, the RSR uses a flywheel because, crucially, the energy can be got into and out of the flywheel faster than it can be with batteries, so the electric kick out of a corner can be bigger. Also, the flywheel is lighter than batteries.

At the moment there's no racing category that the 918 RSR is eligible for, but Duerheimer says Porsche is talking to the authorities about making rules to fit the car. ‘We think there should be a new impulse in racing, new technologies.'

By the way, Porsche hasn't exactly opened the order books on the production 918 Spyder, but it has said it will build the car. It won't say when (we hear about two years) or how many (but 2,500 non-binding ‘letters of intent' have been signed by potential customers) or how much it'll cost (er, lots).

Mercedes-Benz CLS-Class 350 driven £48,000

Aubergine. Not a word you'll come across in the pages of Top Gear very often, but here it is nevertheless. There's a white Mercedes CLS 500 in front of me, and its interior trim is officially known as ‘aubergine'.

Yes, I know, it sounds like one of Noel Edmonds's jumpers. Nor can I imagine ticking the box marked ‘aubergine' - ‘deep purple' has a better ring to it - on the online configurator, but it really works. The seats are beautifully sculpted jobs with the sort of vertical ribbing effect that was once the preserve of, say, a Fifties Mulliner Bentley. But as this is a fully optioned, contemporary top-of-the-range Merc, the front chairs have that massage and pulse function, which can make a spirited back-road blast feel like a 70mph arse-kicking at the hands of a small but surprisingly strong Thai lady.

Aubergine or not, the new CLS is one of those cars you just have to fondle. There are several reasons for this. The first is that design boss Professor Gorden Wagener wanted this second-generation version of Merc's break-out four-door coupe hit (170,000 sold since 2004) to have a properly bespoke quality. So the nod to an old-school Mulliner isn't as off-beam as it might seem, and the CLS really does smell and feel that good. The second, and more important, reason is that the new car confirms what the latest E-Class it's closely related to has already suggested: Merc's remembered how to build cars properly again, and - AMG notwithstanding - has willingly ceded the market for boorish, rough-riding hot-rods to its rivals at Audi and BMW.

This is a cool car, in every sense. A bit of a lounge lizard, before the idea was hijacked by predatory Eurotrash.

Which isn't to say that the CLS is a lazy, foul-handling, land yacht. Not even a tiny bit. With its 406bhp,4.6-litre V8, the 500 in particular has the necessary chops to worry a supercar in terms of handling and performance. This engine really is a bit of a masterpiece: sonorous, smooth and effortlessly powerful. There'll be a bi-turbo, 537bhp 5.5-litre V8 AMG CLS any day now too, which promises to be cosmically fast. But the fact is that the really clever stuff is happening elsewhere in the range, including an upcoming four-cylinder diesel (55mpg!) and a slightly gruff but super-efficient six-pot petrol. The smart money, though, is on the six-cylinder, 3.0-litre turbo diesel, more of which in a moment.

Of course, you buy a CLS because it looks good. The previous model, which Mercedes repeatedly refers to as an icon without realising that an ‘icon' is technically a religious painting, polarised opinion. Mainly mine, actually, because I hated its bendy styling and niche-busting opportunism at first, before coming round to the idea. The new car reconciles Mercedes's current mission to marry a pointy snout with a curvy arse much better than the E-Class manages. From here on in, Merc's sportier cars and its more formal products will go their separate ways visually, and the CLS's aggressive nose ushers in the new ‘sporty' corporate look, complete with powerful LED headlights (71of them, in fact), for increased safety and a distinctive night-time signature. So get used to it. There are 37 people in Mercedes's lighting division with families to feed.

There's an awful lot happening on the rear doors, too, and as usual much depends on colour, paint finish and wheel choice. But, trust me, if a car can get away with white paint over an aubergine interior, it must be fundamentally right. There's also a particularly tasty satin silver finish, which is a nuisance to touch up if you ding it in the car park but probably worth the grief and the extra £1,000 it costs. More strident is a new Zircon red, the aim of which is to bust Mercedes out of the predictable silver/grey/black trap. Looks good, too. But not as good as the silver, grey or black.

Both interior quality and architecture have taken a big leap forward. The options list is bigger than an Argos catalogue, but even the most crass vulgarian wouldn't be able to ruin what is a very nicely conceived and beautifully executed cabin. The dash-top has immaculately stitched leather, there are matt-silver inlays around the air vents, and though some of the wood finishes are of questionable taste, they're all classily made. The centre console opens with an extravagantly damped hush.

It all feels incredibly thorough. Even the (optional) Harman Kardon Logic 7 audio had the positioning of its 14 speakers determined at the body-in-white stage. And, though the main instruments are analogue, the digital display within the speedo is now in colour, and bulges with so much information that it's effectively a second Comand system, along with the one that governs the multi-media. Mercedes has seemingly attached the -Assist or -Tronic suffix to virtually everything - traction control, distance control, blind spot detection, lane departure (these two also brake the outside rear wheel and work in conjunction with the ESP), night view, parking, climate, etc - that one wonders if it's on the verge of creating a car and driver mindset that's too helplessly paranoid to leave the driveway in the morning. Assist? Desist, more like. That said, it would be churlish to argue with Merc's commitment to active and passive safety, and reckless hedonists can always reach for the off button.

This is a much more athletic car than CLS v1.0. It uses broadly the same architecture and has an identical wheelbase to the current E-Class, which is no bad thing. But there are some key alterations. The frameless doors are all-aluminium - which generates a weight-saving of 24kg compared to steel - and aluminium is used extensively elsewhere, though the 350 diesel still weighs 1,815kg. The CLS is very slippery, though, with a drag co-efficient of 0.26. Back in the early 1980s, a figure like that was the stuff of science fiction.

And that's not all. At first glance, the numbers on Mercedes's latest powerplants are so good they look like typographic errors. The 3.5-litre petrol-engined 350 six-cylinder delivers 41.5mpg, and CO2 emissions of 159g/km, and even the CLS 500 can manage 31.5mpg on average and coughs out less than 210g/km. The start-stop ‘Eco' option helps, and works unobtrusively. We're getting into cake-and-eat-it territory here, surely.

As for the 3.0-litre diesel 350, well how does 264bhp and 457lb ft of torque sound? Or 47mpg? Around 90 per cent of UK CLS sales are diesel, and though the six and eight-cylinder petrol cars are both terrific, this might be the final tipping point. The CLS's chassis is so accomplished that even the heavier powertrain doesn't blunt its handling or behaviour. It uses a tuned version of the E's multi-link front and rear suspension set-up, so it rides beautifully. The steering is a new electric system, chosen primarily because it only uses energy ‘on-demand', which helps reduce fuel consumption and emissions. Most electric set-ups are synthetic at best, utterly rubbish at worst. But this one works. There's plenty of feel, and it's perfectly linear. For a big car, the CLS can really be hustled along, and it's unbelievably sure-footed, even on the damp, up- and downhill Italian mountain roads we drove it on.

The seven-speed automatic can be a little hesitant on kick-down, but flipping it into manual mode and using the paddles circumvents this problem. The mechanical refinement on all three versions we tried was exemplary, and wind noise around the door mirrors and pillars was minimal too. Nor could I spot any significant difference between the adjustable air suspension on one model and the steel springs on another, however the control freak in me generally prefers a conventionally optimised set-up, though maybe not on Britain's rubbish roads.

The new CLS is a cool, covetable, and highly intelligent car. I loved it. In fact, it's that rare thing, a car about which I could find nothing wrong. Unless you count naming an inter

Jaguar XK R Black Pack driven £79,955

For £4,000, your XKR can now be both faster and more beautiful, thanks to an optional ‘Black Pack' that adds glossy-black 20in alloys, plus more glossy blackness around the windows and grille. Small things, yes, but somehow effective - unlike the optional ‘XKR' decal along the side of the car. It looks nasty, and ruins the XK's lovely lines.

With the Black Pack comes the Speed Pack, which is available on its own for £3,500, but makes more sense when bought with the Black gubbins. It raises the top speed from 155mph to 174, thanks to a re-jigged electronic limiter. It also includes a new front splitter and rear diffuser, a bigger rear wing and more sculpted side skirts - all of which are there to reduce lift and help stability at high speed. The steering system is also recalibrated, to avoid a floaty sensation when ‘making progress'.

So, the Speed Pack's 174mph top speed might give you ultimate top end bragging rights, but you're unlikely to be able to access that kind of pace on a daily basis. Far better to just enjoy the purposeful new image with all the new body bits. The trick, then, is to choose the Black Pack, rather than the Speed Pack alone. It's only 500 quid more and feels more valuable as a combination, especially with that new high-speed stability. A quicker, prettier, more planted XKR? Call that dealer.

Ford Mondeo Titanium X Sport driven £24,145

Obvious exotica aside, it's a rare car that causes consensus in the Top Gear office. And while Bill Thomas did his valiant best to introduce a worthy contender to king of the large repmobile class with his panegyric to the Mazda6, the Ford Mondeo has occupied that throne here for the best part of a decade.

It's not just a journalist's darling, the Mondeo. The Ford now accounts for one in four new large company car purchases, big enough numbers to give its owners their own sociological class. And while Mondeo Man has become shorthand for "dull man with dull job", at least he's always been able to append "who drives a great car" onto that. When compared to, say, BMW drivers, it beats "cock" by a few furlongs.

The reasons for the Mondeo's dominance are well-documented: high-speed comfort, refinement beyond price bracket, genuinely fun drive. For this facelift, Ford has had the sense not to mess with their formula.

The biggest news is two new engines. The range-topping petrol is now a tweaked version of the existing 2.0 litre EcoBoost petrol from the new S-Max and Galaxy, offering 236bhp to the previous 197bhp, while still claiming 47mpg. The top-end diesel, as fitted to our test car, is an impressive new 2.2 Duratorq TDCi, at 197bhp/47mpg. The 2.0 petrol and diesel remain from the current range, while Ford also plan to offer the 1.6 EcoBoost petrol from the new C-Max which so impressed Top Gear last month.

Outside, the latest Kinetic design upgrade is subtle to the point of anonymous: LED lamps ring wider trapezoid lights front and back, chrome circles the windows, the Aston-style side-blades are more pronounced.

Inside too, all remains well. Our test route is a perfect example of this car's typical day, a 500km A-road schlep from Paris to Alsace, and once underway you remember what a nice place to be this is. Closeted from road noise, Ford's traditional meaty steering between the hands, and with enough poke from the big diesel to despatch Romanian HGVs at all speeds, you're left to concentrate on subtleties. The satisfying click of the air vents as they rotate. The "EcoBoost" quiz buried in the menus which mark you for your driving (we were rather pleased with five petals out of five for ‘anticipation'). On the downside, the new dash display - stuffed between analogue dials for revs and speed - is cluttered and difficult to read, and we couldn't get the iPod connection to work.

But we're being picky. Life hasn't been easy for poor old Mondeo Man in the last few years. At least while he laments his plummeting pension down the 19th hole, he can rest assured he's still driving a genuinely excellent car...

Performance: 0-62mph in 8.1secs, max speed 143mph, 47.0mpg

Mini Paceman

Lots of brand identity has been hurled at this car to ensure image conscious types will flock to its chubby charms in droves; Mini claims it is the world's first premium miniature SUV coupe, and its design is ‘horizontal' rather than the Countryman's ‘vertical'.

The concept on display in Detroit will be fitted with the JCW's cooking 211bhp 1.6-litre turbocharged four-pot pumping out 192lb ft of torque (207 on overboost), and the Countryman's ALL4 all-wheel-drive system, which in extreme circumstances sends 100 per cent of power to the rear wheels. This gets a gold star from us. There will also be the option of front-wheel-drive.

Be assured that despite its rather generous heft, it will handle with the agility of a standard Mini - they always do. It gets a MacPherson type front axle coupled to electric speed-sensitive steering, while the rear is a multi-link setup using "proven BMW Group chassis expertise".

The interior is built to emulate a 'club lounge' feel, and comes with light shades of leather, front sport seats and two rear seats which blend into the sides to create a cosy environment. No word on whether your legs get breathing room in the back, but the Countryman was generous, so this should be sufficient.

We'll let you come to your own conclusions about the styling, but a few words from us: Mini says the roof is almost ‘suspended' on top of the windows, and is thus known as a ‘helmet roof'.

It's only a concept but could very well go into production very soon...watch this space. Until then, feast your peepers over the gallery, and let us know if you like the idea of driving a car with a ‘helmet roof'. Brand extension too far, or the car you've had sleepless nights waiting for?

Tuned BMW M3 looks like a GT2

It's Friday. Mostly, we enjoy trawling the vast digital chasms to bring you things that will make you smile. And sometimes, we thoroughly enjoy mercilessly poking the finger of ridicule at tuned ‘carbage'.

So when we clapped eyes on a ‘BMW M3 WIDEBODY" by Prior Design, we readied some choice insults to fire out via the medium of words (and lots of office laughing).

Thing is though, it's not actually that bad. Sure, the wheels are a bit ‘blurgh', but the wide-body kit makes it look like a GT2 car. And GT2 cars rock. Bear in mind though, that it's only acceptable to look at. Drive this to Tesco's and you will look like a tool. Click through and see if you agree, and then log on to our MyFace page to air your machine-fresh thoughts...

Volkswagen Scirocco

Difficult to buy anything these days without some sort of phony justification, isn't it? That big leather sofa you just bought? Well it was half price, so you had to. And that flatscreen telly? You'd lost the remote for your old one...

So how do you justify buying a quick petrol coupe in a high-ish tax band, at a time when the economy is flat on its arse and you can barely afford loo roll?

Easy, just put a diesel in it. Which is what VW has done with the Scirocco, therefore making it more accessible to more people. OK, so shoving a diesel in a desirable car is nothing new, but we're pleased one made it into a Scirocco - our Car of the Year 2008.

You get all the gorgeousness of the petrol version, with just a little less guilt and a few more notes in your wallet. Some might say that the 'Roc should stay pure to petrol, and that giving it a diesel somehow dilutes its brand.

It doesn't. It's obviously not as quick as the 2.0-litre TSI, which don't forget is just a Golf GTi in disguise, but it's just as sharp and certainly not slow. Throttle response is about as instant as it gets in a diesel, and it pulls quickly and cleanly through the gears - feeling more powerful than its quoted 138bhp and 236lb ft.

Yes, the driver in you will probably always want the petrol. But just remember, this one's 500 quid cheaper, two tax bands lower and cheaper to run.

Tuned 500 Abarth spits out 260bhp

You read that headline right. 260bhp. 260bhp in a car weighing as much as a bobble hat.

Italian tuning firm Romeo Ferraris - a name which sounds like it was conceived by a fat Yank trying to sum up Italy - has whacked on a ruddy great turbo to the 500 Abarth Essesse and forced its ickle 1.4-litre four-pot to work overtime. It's called the 500 Abarth Estremo, and it's bonkers.

It also gets an intercooler, new ECU, custom exhaust and, thankfully, a limited slip diff. It rides on 17s, features Brembo brakes and adjustable suspension, and lots of trinkety stuff to make it look mean and powerful. All very well, until you inevitably overcook it and end up in a tree swallowed by your own turbo.

260bhp, in a 500?

Aston’s hardcore V8 Vantage S

This is the Aston Martin V8 Vantage S, and it is more powerful, better looking and more driver-focused than the standard car.

Aston has correctly figured new year equals more power, and as such, the 4.7-litre V8 rises in power from 420bhp to 430bhp, while torquThis new engine is mated to a new seven-speed Sportshift II automated manual ‘box, designed especially for the Vantage S - there's no manual offered. The gear ratios are shorter than before, and the whole car can be angrified by pressing the ‘Sport' button, which quickens the gear changes, increases the throttle response and opens the exhaust bypass valves across "most of the engine speed range" making it shoutier too.

Aston has quickened the steering rack for the Vantage S, along with fitting larger diameter front brake discs and six-piston calipers. New springs and dampers, wider rear wheels and a new DSC system point to the makings of a Stig Machine.

The maxim of ‘if-it-ain't-broke-don't fix-it' has been applied for the looks, with a new front bumper, splitter, 19in alloys and wider side sills accentuating the sheer righteousness of the Vantage shape.

Prices for the coupe start at £102,500, and £110,700 for the roadster. Sell a kidney and make it happen.e now sits at 361lb f

2010 TG Awards: Luxury Car of the Year

You can forget America - the next 100 years is all about China. As odd as it might seem to anyone who has grown up in a world dominated culturally and politically by a particular superpower, empires do rise and fall.

Sometimes they rise and fall, and then rise again. The Forbidden City, which dominates Beijing, proves that whatever China represents now, it more than represented in the past. As a statement of political and architectural ambition, it makes Buckingham Palace and Westminster look like a bunch of garden sheds on a Thames-side allotment.

The inside scoop on Ferrari’s new FF

The first thing we were told - this was the marketing man speaking - is that the FF was designed around customers' wish-lists. This made us Customers have no idea what's possible, or which characteristics are incompatible. It's like asking diners in a restaurant to detail the ingredients instead of letting the infinitely more knowledgeable chef do it for them.

Anyway, apparently people wanted a Ferrari with room for four. And a big boot. And they wanted it to be a whole lot more driveable in the wet (fair enough - a 599 is sphincter-puckeringly skittish in the wet).

This could have resulted in a bulky, ill-proportioned car, an ugly looker designed to fit around the people and the golf bags, as well as the huge engine. It could have been heavy and cumbersome, with a complicated and heavy 4WD transmission.

Which would have met the brief but it wouldn't have looked like a Ferrari should, or driven like one. And the customers, despite having got what they asked for, would have run a mile.

But then we started to speak with Amedeo Felisa, Ferrari's CEO who happens to have come up through the engineering ranks there and is an absolute supercar genius. He explained what's been done to make it agile and fast, as well as manageable in the wet even with - get this - 660bhp on tap.

Can a car have 4WD for security, but still drive like a Ferrari? Can even Ferrari manage that?

Well, the FF doesn't actually have a normal heavy 4WD system with a centre diff and an extra prop shaft. It has a normal Ferrari configuration, with the drive going from the V12 back to a seven-speed twin-clutch gearbox driving the rear wheels. This is good for weight distribution, and in the dry the FF is as fast around a track as a 599 (it's only a little heavier, yet usefully more powerful). Felisa swears it feels like a proper front-engined RWD V12 Ferrari, too. And he has spoken the truth to me in these matters all the 16 years I've been interviewing him.scared.So what about the four-wheel drive, then? Uniquely, power is also taken off the front of the engine, which is behind the front wheel centres. It's fed to a compact lightweight unit containing a set of clutches that can progressively feed in torque to a tiny integrated gearbox and front diff. It has only two gears, roughly the equivalent of third and seventh in the main box. How can this be? Because the clutches are always slipping under electronic control, and the front tyres would never be able to make use of all the V12's torque in first or second.

What this means is the car's electronics can smoothly dial up a portion of drive to the fronts if they predict a loss of traction at the back. Yes, they're predictive as well as reactive. And they only do this in the road and slippery-road settings of the steering-wheel manettino. In the more hardcore modes, you can still run it as pretty well entirely rear-drive.

Finally, we took a proper look around it and inside, with design chief Flavio Manzoni. Honestly, they've pulled one out of the hat here. Provided you like long-roofed sports cars - and I do, having had the hots for a Lancia HPE in my young days, and owned a BMW Z3 M Coupe - it's a well-proportioned athletic, fuss-free and, yes, rather beautiful design.

Inside, it's as sumptuous and well equipped and roomy as those choosy buyers could have wanted. The hatchback opens to a decent boot, and the two back seats fold so it can swallow pushbike-sized objects. There are even entertainment screens in the back of the front headrests. How can travelling in a 660bhp Ferrari be so boring it needs the additional stimulation of an in-flight movie?

Of course we haven't driven it yet, but on this first examination I've got to hand it to them. Clever Ferrari for making a car that seems to meet so many incompatible objectives.

Clever too the customers for drawing up such a laundry list, and having faith that Ferrari would indeed come back whiter than white.

New Lamborghini Gallardo hits Qatar

Lamborghini has used the Qatar motor show to launch a new version of its venerable Gallardo supercar: this is the LP560-4 Bicolore.

As with anything in life, say it in Italian and it immediately sounds cool - the Bicolore (two-colour) features a two-tone colour scheme. The roof is ‘Noctis Black', and the body is available in five finishes: yellow, grey, white, blue and the orange you see above.

The wheels come in 15-spoke aluminium alloy flavour, forged to minimise unsprung weight, while the air intakes and front spoiler are finished in high-gloss black. The instrument panel, seats and door panels are upholstered in black leather with stitching matching the exterior paintwork.

Otherwise it's usual Gallardo fare - 560bhp V10, 4WD, 0-62mph in 3.7 seconds and a top speed of 202mph.

Noble shows off production M600

Quick stats - a 4.4-litre Volvo/Yamaha V8 produces three power outputs depending on how many Weetabix you've had that morning. The ‘Road' setting gives you 450bhp, ‘Track' bumps it up to 550bhp, and ‘Race' commands 650bhp. Each increases the boost curve and throttle response.

It weighs 1,250kgs, and with the Stig-switch applied (650bhp) gives around 530bhp-per-tonne, prompting the inevitable headline-grabbing reference to something Bugatti-shaped and fast...

Noble reckons it'll hit 120mph from rest in 8.9 seconds and go on to an estimated 225mph, making it quite a handy bit of kit.

The tub is made from stainless sheet steel, it's mid-engined and rear-wheel-drive and, though prices haven't been confirmed, will probably cost something in the region of £200,000.

Toyota teases FT-86 II concept

The original FT-86 was powered by a Subaru 2.0-litre boxer engine and measures up just short of a Lotus Evora, with a 2+2 seat layout. It was promised to be affordable too, to encourage young people to the brand. Young people, what say ye?

Porsche 911 GTS driven £76,758

The last time I looked, there were 153 options you can choose from on your new 911 Carrera. You can't specify them all individually, as choosing some means you can't have others - unless you want several sets of wheels or a wood and carbon-fibre hybrid interior with yellow seatbelts on one side and red on the other. But if you could, the possible permutations of 911 would add up to a mind-melting 9.6 trillion subtly different models. That's nearly 1,610 distinct 911s for every man, woman and child on Earth.

But, as ridiculous as that sounds, that figure apparently still isn't enough for Porsche. Which is why it's just launched the 911 GTS. Slotting, according to the Zuffenhausen massive, into the 20-model 911 hierarchy (21 if you include the sold-out Sport Classic) above the Carrera 4S and beneath the Targa 4, the GTS Coupe and Cabriolet are forgivable additions to the dizzying line-up as they are, quite possibly, the best-value 911s you can buy.

Rumoured to be the last of the current 997 model before the switch over to the new (and naturally nearly identical) 998 later this year - but there's sure to be a few more specials in the works - the GTS offers perhaps the best performance-to-price ratioof any 911 on sale today. It's still no budget-priced bargain, but when you drill down into the GTS's standard specification and see what it would cost to spec a standard Carrera Sup to the same level, you start to see the point.

Let's start with the engine. The standard £74k Carrera S gets 385bhp and 310lb ft to play with. The only Porsche-approved way of getting that number to match the GTS's 408bhp, is to specify the £8k+ Powerkit option. So the price of your S would climb to £82k.

Now the wheels. The S comes from the factory with a set of 19in Carrera S II rims. To get the centre-locking RS Spyder wheels as worn by the GTS would set you back a further £2,300 and a grovel to your salesman as they aren't strictly available from the standard spec list. If you wanted them in black, that would be another grand. The subtotal for your GTS-chasing S now rises to £85.5k.

And we're not finished yet. The GTS's Sport Design front end will cost you another couple of grand. To get the wider Carrera 4 rear end the GTS wears as standard will, for the sake of argument, sting you for another couple on top of that. Let's say four and a half grand in total for bodywork. Which brings the running total to a round £90k.

To complete your mock GTS, you will have to spec the Alcantara interior and Sport Design steering wheel from the not-at-all-cheap Porsche equipment catalogue. That's another three grand of your hard-earned if it's a penny. So the final price after that nit-picking marathon, brings your once humble Carrera S to a grand and change short of £95k. That's £8,000 more than a 911 GT3.

Want to know the GTS price now? It's £76,758.

I know it's still a long way from a cheap price, but in the digital halls of the Porsche online configurator, that's a positive steal. You can almost hear the sound of Porsche calfskin leather Sport Classic II wallets (£80) being flung open and black Amex cards being slapped down as we speak.

Particularly as there are still a number of details which it doesn't matter how long you spend trying to make your S into a GTS, are unique to this car. Cosmetically, the black-painted front spoiler and sideskirts help the GTS look lighter visually. Likewise the black-painted area between the rear tailpipes and on the pipes themselves highlight the extra 44mm rear width of the Carrera 4-derived rear end. All of which add up to make the GTS look just that little bit lower, meaner, faster.

Which it is. Apart from having the 23 bonus bhp Powerkit option, which includes a freer-flowing sports exhaust system installed as standard, engines in the GTS also have a new variable intake setup. This substantially boosts mid-range torque, making driving at normal road speeds even more effortless than usual, which is useful. However, it also completely opens the engine's throat above 6,000rpm, unleashing a whole new banshee character to proceedings. So just when you think it's all over bar the shouting, the shouting starts, and you realise the GTS has only just begun.

Top speed is 190mph with 0-62mph taking 4.6 seconds in the manual car, 4.4 seconds in the PDK semi-automatic and 4.2 seconds on the PDK car fitted with the optional Sport Chrono Package in Sport Plus mode. Yes, even on a car as drenched in special kit as the GTS, there is still a boatload of spec choices to be made.

Apart from the gearbox options, prospective owners also have to decide to keep the rear seats deleted (standard) or have them fitted at no cost. And whether or not to have the larger 19.8-gallon fuel tank - more than five gallons bigger - installed, also free. Surely it's worth having both if they are on offer, unless you insist that you really can tell the difference in handling deleting them makes. In which case, you're probably the sort of person who has no friends, so the seats however small would be of no use anyway.

If you are a real hero, you'll probably also want to spec the ceramic brake discs and the sports suspension kit, complete with limited-slip differential, which lowers the Grand Touring Sport 911 by a further 20mm, makes it that much quicker to stop and gives it the ultimate level of traction.

Once you've agonised over all that, it's hard to imagine you could be anything other than ecstatic with the result. As the GTS is probablythe best all-round balance of price, performance and comfort in the whole of the 911 Carrera range. It's not as showy and raw as the GT3, or as humdrum as the regular 911s. It's a near-perfect blend of show and go.

Being two-wheel drive only it has the extraordinary steering feel, bite and precision you can only get when the front wheels are not responsible for anything other than changing direction. It also has the kind of traction and drive that is the reserve of a rear-engined car fitted with 11-inch-wide tyres. Front and rear track have been widened slightly to raise the limits of possibility, but the sensations aren't hugely different to any other Carrera.

Until you look down and see what speed you're doing. Then you realise just how sorted the GTS is. Attacking bends we know, the GTS was between 10 and 15 per cent faster than a standard Carrera while retaining its solid, relaxed composure. It still squats like a toad when accelerating hard and needs a firm hand on the wheel and a light foot on the throttle to keep it moving in the right direction, but it all feels much better dialled in, smoother, more polished than ever before.

Particularly through the new Alcantara-clad three-spoke Sport Design steering wheel. In what looks like the death knell to the steering-wheel-mounted PDK shift buttons on lesser 911s - and Cayman and Boxster - models, the GTS's wheel features a set of shift paddles instead. And there's no two ways about it, they are better in every way. The buttons were a nice try and handy if you drive one-handed, as you can change up and down with the same hand. But in a 190mph sports car, the paddles rule.

Switching gears into the Cabriolet, there are only two tests that need to be done to see if it's the worthy open-topped sibling to the Coupe: does it flex noticeably on bumpy roads; and can you drive it with the roof down above 50mph without feeling like you're sitting in a hurricane? The answer to the first one is no. It's 60kg heavier, but you'd hardly know it. But it's a yes to the second question. You may need to turn the stereo up a couple of notches, but conversation is possible at the legal limit.

What that conversation might be about, though, is anyone's guess. But I know what I was thinking while driving the GTS: as it's so close to a Sport Classic 911, how much would it take to convert it into one? You'd need to swap the wheels out for the Fuchs-alike Sport Classic numbers - a mere £5k or so to you, sir - find a duck-tail engine cover and some black headlight trim, and you'd be almost there for well under £60k less than the SC's asking price.

What stopped that line of thought was that, ultimately, it would be a rip-off and a poor one at that. Much better to just sign up for a pure GTS experience and enjoy one of the finest 911s you can buy. It might not have the rarity value of the Seventies throwback, but it offers every bit as much driving pleasure. Maybe even more. Instead of hiding it under a dust sheet and waiting for the market to recover, you can thrash the GTS hard every day and enjoy its many polished and honed talents right now.

It's still not perfect as a car, and it never will be. But as a 911, there are few, if any, 997s that are better-balanced, and many which are worse for more money. Or at least this was the case the last time I looked.

BMW teaches drivers how to avoid bombs

Mostly, your commute to your place of work doesn't involve being shot at, explosions or being run off the road. Unless you live in Birmingham, that is.

But for ‘security' drivers who wish to learn the dark arts of J-turns and evasive manoeuvres whilst piloting a Bavarian wagon, BMW has set up camp in a former Soviet military base in East Germany to edumacate drivers of the firm's High SecuriAs you can see, these drivers face a multitude of dangers, ranging from fire, bullets and attempted ram-raiding. Of course, nothing truly compares to the danger of the A406 on a Monday morning, but we digress.

Check out the video below to see some fire occur, and a rather cool drift in a BMW X5...ty Vehicles.

Scott brothers to make Le Mans show

Petrolheads across the world, unite! Brothers Tony and Ridley Scott are working together to fulfil your small screen motoring dreams.

The directors - who between them have knocked out Alien, Beverly Hills Cop, Top Gun, American Gangster et al - have bought the rights to Wallace Wyss' book ‘Shelby: The Man, The Cars, The Legend', which is a warts-n-all tale on drivers from across the globe who competed in Le Mans throughout the 50s and 60s."This is a hugely ambitious project and a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to tell the story of these iconic and legendary men who risked everything to win at Le Mans. It's an epic story of courage and ambition and a history of racing which has never been told on such a grand scale," he added.

It's Mad Men with added testosterone and oversteer - you want to watch this. To paraphrase Maverick, ‘we feel the need, the need, for speed'. And so forth.

On paper at least, the second-best motoring television show. You should already know the best. It's won a few awards and everything...